We all know the conventional wisdom about first impressions: you’ve got one shot, and you’d better not mess it up. All of the advice is about the impressions we leave on others, but we tend not to hear as much about the judgments we make upon encountering new people. Our brains are really good at perceiving patterns and sorting things into categories, even where no pattern exists and categories simply don’t make sense. I struggle to fight off the snap judgements I make on an almost daily basis.

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We tend to think about people we meet or see around campus the way we think about ice cream: if it looks like rocky road, we assume it’s rocky road. We tasted it once, and those bites of chocolatey, nutty, marshmallowy goodness tell us everything we need to know. But people aren’t ice cream. We don’t come in flavors. People who look the same aren’t the same. Whether you’re new to campus or have been at TU for a while, it’s likely you’ll be running into new people over the next several days and weeks. As we meet and interact, let’s try to think of each other as humans, lest we all melt away in this scorching heat.

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And now, your 3 things.

1. Don’t assume. Maybe you’ve heard this before: when we assume, it makes an ass of u and me. This is true. There are brilliant athletes on this campus, and intelligent, engaged hipsters. Maybe you already understand this-awesome! But if you don’t, you may be missing out on meeting your future best friend just because you think she won’t like you because she’s tool cool/not cool enough/not from where you’re from/was home schooled/is in a sorority/whatever. You also might think you can guess someone’s sexuality by looking at them, but chances are you can’t. So stop trying. Same goes for religious background and ethnicity.
2. We have one of the largest international student populations in the country, yet TU has struggled to create a space that fosters cultural exchange and increases understanding. Let’s do better. The international student lunch hosted by the Wesley Foundation on campus is a good place to start (and you get free food!). So is making a conscious effort to reach out, and remembering that if you were thousands of miles from home, you might be a little shy, too.
3. If you’re white, read something (anything!) about white privilege. It’s important. This article is a really excellent place to start: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. Race and privilege can be really difficult to talk about, but if we all want to live and study in a place of mutual respect, we’ve got to be open to the conversation. This campus community is an ever-evolving work in progress, and it’s within our power to make sure it becomes a better, more inclusive place.

Okay, so this version of this song is terrible, but I couldn’t find a better one, and the song itself is awesome.

It’s Emily here. True fact: Everyone is a little bit terrified when they first come to college. No matter how desperate you are to escape your hometown, or how eager you are to be a college kid (and partake of all that the title entails), the subtle knot of apprehension is going to catch you every once in a while. My first piece of unsolicited advice: be okay with being a little unsure, and take comfort in the fact that your classmates are by and large dealing with similar uncertainty. More unsolicited advice follows–some of the things I wish I’d known before I began my freshman year.

1. You may be able to reinvent yourself in college, but you can’t become someone else. I was convinced when I came to TU that I could rebrand my geeky self into an outgoing social butterfly. While I’m really glad that I managed to force myself to meet and really engage with lots of people during the first couple of months of school, I was much happier when I assembled a group of close, similarly geeky friends.
2. If you want to get involved in research, speak up now! The earlier you get involved with research, the more freedom you are likely to have to pursue what really interests you. Getting involved with research early also helps you build relationships with your professors and connect you with upperclassmen in your department. Approaching a professor to talk about research can be intimidating, but most professors will be thrilled that you’re interested. Then it’s up to you to do the work.
3. Getting good grades is important, but so is being happy. I decided when I came to college that I was going to work hard and come as close to a 4.0 as I could. While at some level this was a noble goal, it also led me to tie my sense of self to my gpa. Not good. It took a long time, but I finally learned how to do well academically and do the things that keep me sane. Huge tip: get off campus sometimes. It’ll help you feel like part of the community instead of like a resident of the bizarre alternate reality often referred to as “college”.
4. Be wrong sometimes. Over the next four years, what and how you think about the world are apt to change. This is a good thing. I am not the girl I was 4 years ago. Hell, I’m not the girl I was 6 months ago. I’m grateful for the change. I’m grateful for the people and books and situations that have highlighted my mistakes and shortcomings, because it is through these realizations that I have been able to grow. And that’s what college is really for, anyway.

So, welcome. Work hard. Be wrong. And certainly don’t always eschew unsolicited advice from shady characters you’ve never met.

It’s Emily here. Tomorrow I will take my place in the passenger seat of a rental SUV and make for the coast. My good friend (and ex-boyfriend) got a job in San Francisco and starts work on Monday. I volunteered to go along to make the 20+ hour trip a little less lonely, and to take in a landscape these eastern eyes have seldom seen.

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I’m just a tiny bit grouchy about this whole exciting undertaking for a couple of reasons. First, I don’t think I’ll be allowed to drive the car at all, since the rental car people don’t like that both my friend and I are under 25. How one 22 year old driving almost 2,000 miles alone is somehow safer than splitting that driving with a 21 year old is baffling. I happen to be a champion at long-distance driving. I once drove for 6 hours without stopping. I’m going to go nuts in the passenger seat, so if I post a batty entry from someplace in the southwest, you now know why.

My dungeon:

The other reason: I failed to acquire the requisite cowboy hat, so now all of my picture from the road are going to be just a bit less awesome than they would have been otherwise. Sorry.

Despite my banishment to the right side of the vehicle, I’m looking forward to this trip. The last several days of packing and preparing (did I mention that this friend/ex is also my roommate? Do not recommend.) have been stressful, but tomorrow night I’ll be in Albuquerque. Hooray for cities with two Q’s! By Friday I’ll be in San Francisco, where the daily highs are in the 60s and vegan options abound. I also plan to listen to The Disappearing Spoon audiobook. It’s basically a collection of true stories centered around the periodic table.

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I also plan to get a jump on reading for the semester, mostly because I’m a huge dork (I’m sure you’re all totally stunned by this).

And now I need to pack.

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