Love blooms online
Ashley Sonnenburg, Editor-in-Chief
photo: Graphic by April Thompson
People are always afraid of new technology. The automobile was called a “house of prostitution on wheels” in the 1920s, shortly after it was popular throughout the United States.
The Internet has caused similar fears in the American public. Many believe that the Internet is full of predators, ready to take advantage of the young and naïve.
Because of these fears, online dating has been frowned upon. It is thought that meeting people through the Internet for the purpose of romance is fake, pathetic or even dangerous.
Most of the suspicion surrounding meeting people online is unfounded. Online dating can be a way for people to meet mates with similar interests that they may not otherwise encounter in daily life.
Of course some fears about online dating are based in fact.
Sonja Flarehty, named Las Vegas’ sexiest person in 2004, reported being raped by a man she met online.
“People lie. And they will say whatever they need to to sell themselves. They’re creating a picture of who they think they are and putting it on the web,” she said in an interview with KVBC/DT news in Las Vegas.
Yes, people do lie. One study published in the January 2006 issue of the Journal of Computer Mediated Communication found that many people in online dating environments portray themselves as they would like to be, not necessarily as they are. Middle-aged Susan may shave 20 pounds off her weight or 25-year-old Josh may say he makes $15,000 more per year than he actually does.
However, lying occurs in real life dating environments as well. Individuals at a bar may lie about their profession, dating history or marital status. It is just as easy to meet a married man masquerading as single during happy hour at a bar as it is on an online dating forum.
What is different is that, when meeting someone in person, there may be a false sense of security surrounding that person. If you have seen someone in real life and interacted it is harder to believe that that person may be dangerous or dishonest. Online there is a natural suspicion about others that is not always present in real life. Usually, people only meet in real life after interacting several times via the Internet or telephone.
True, Flarehty was raped by a person she met online. However, people are raped everyday by individuals that they meet in bars, parties and other face-to-face situations.
The idea that online dating is pathetic and only for those who can’t otherwise get a date is also false. Online dating is an excellent way for those who are too busy for the bar scene or singles nights to meet other people looking for love. It is also a way for those who are older or otherwise removed from the main dating pool to find others in similar positions.
The thought that online interaction is somehow not as real as face-to-face interaction is also misguided. In fact, online dating can sometimes be more real than “real life” dating. One study published in the April 2004 edition of the Journal of Computer Mediated Communication found that relational intimacy developed faster in online relationships than face-to-face relationships.
Online, first impressions that take into account a person’s appearance, voice or social awkwardness can be discarded. Instead, people can get together over common interests, passions and life experiences. Two people who may not have even talked with one another in a real life situation can join together online and discover how much they have in common.
Similarly, those that may not live in an area with a large dating pool, such as those in small towns, suddenly have access to thousands of potential mates on large online dating sites.
Online dating isn’t for everyone. Some will insist on parking themselves at the bar and waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come their way. However, online dating can be an excellent way for individuals to meet others with similar interests without the pressure of the bar scene.
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