Step 1: Getting to know your roommate
The easiest way to accomplish this is to ask questions that will help you learn about each other and build on your similarities. Some specific topics can be discussed that will open the door to a greater understanding of each other. Try some of the following questions or open-ended statements to help break the ice:

• Where are you from?
• What is your family like?
• What are your favorite things to do?
• What is your major?
• What are you looking forward to this semester?
• What do you need when you are stressed?
• What is your favorite movie?
• What kind of music do you like?

The idea is to open the lines of communication. Most roommate conflicts are due to poor communication. Both first time acquaintances and old friends from home will need to take time and talk about issues that will impact your time together.

Be aware of the assumptions and generalizations you make about people. We all make generalizations, as they are necessary in order for us to approach new situations. When our generalizations become fixed or rigid despite new evidence to the contrary, these are stereotypes. Acting on stereotypes often helps to break down communication and set up barriers between you and your roommate.

Step 2: Know what you need.
As a member of TU’s residential community, you have rights already outlined in this guide. You are also entitled to share your living preferences with your roommate, but in order to do so; you need to know what they are. In order to help, we are providing this personal assessment. Please think about your responses to the following questions.

Step 3: Use a roommate agreement
Now it is time to meet with your roommate and set ground rules to start off on the right foot towards an enjoyable roommate experience. Use your answers to the above questions to assist you and your roommate in reaching an effective roommate agreement. Though the content of your agreement may change throughout the year as you become acclimated to TU life, remember the framework for your discussion. You will be able to address situations when they arise throughout the year.

Set a meeting time during the first week of living together with enough time to address all of the areas of the Agreement. Work together to determine the content of the agreement. Take turns responding to each item on the agreement before going on to the next one. Negotiate and compromise on each item as necessary. Submit the completed roommate agreement to your Resident Assistant/Apartment Community Assistant by the end of the first week of classes. Speak to your RA/ACA if you have any questions, concerns or issues arise at any point of the process.

Step 4: Renegotiating
It will not be uncommon for some of your preferences to change while living on campus. It is also very possible that one or both of the roommates will not live up to the agreement. You may choose to renegotiate your roommate agreement. Be sure to utilize the same tips as in you original negotiations. In addition, try to avoid blame and accusations when you renegotiate your agreement. If a solution cannot be reached by the roommates, the next step is to ask Residence Life staff for help or mediation. Your SRA, RA, ARD, or Residence Director have all been well trained to serve as impartial mediators.